How to Eradicate Golf Course Geese

It's a sad state of affairs when the best spot for hunting Canada geese is on the 18th green of an exclusive country club.

But that's what is happening across the country as once migratory birds set up shop as residents, taking over parks, fairways and athletic fields. Nuisance complaints are skyrocketing from goose droppings killing lawns to children being harassed by mother geese during the nesting season.

Believe the hype people. Geese are one of our biggest threats. North Korea's missles are like flying teddy bears compared to the waddling, honking, pooping masses of geese. In fact, there's a website addressing this serious concern, canadagoosemanagement.com

Check out the company's masterful slogan:

"Dedicated to solving conflicts between Canada geese and people in a cost effective and efficient manner."

It's like Dr. Phil in animal management form.

Here's an idea: hunters want opportunities to shoot waterfowl and golf course members want geese to stop ruining their fairways. Why not give hunters a sunrise tee time to help manage the population? Everyone is a winner. Man, if only there were another spot for a negotiator in Obama's cabinet, I'd nominate myself.

Hunters are rarely sought as a solution to the problem, but they just might be the most effective. Take a click on to the next page for a list of the population control methods so far (most of which have been marginally effective at best).

First of all, to give you an idea of what we're dealing with, the average adult goose consumes four pounds of feed and poops out two pounds daily. Consider a flock usually has 20-50 members and those get to be some impressive buffet and bathroom numbers.

Here are three of the more common control methods:

Air Cannon
Around airports and on highway medians, these devices are deployed in an effort to keep geese from interfering with planes or traffic. There was a set of these near National Airport in D.C. and the geese were idly grazing near them not even looking up when they let out loud booms. In fact, I seemed to be the only one frightened thinking someone was shooting at me.

Herding
Geese go through a molting period every summer, which makes them unable to fly. Country clubs will hire goose cowboys to round them up for deportation. The problem here is that the club is not addressing the issue: that the birds like to eat grass. So even if you remove one flock, another one will show up.

Chemical Lawn Treatment
It's not a pure poisoning, so don't get up in arms about the ethical issue. Companies have developed sprays to put on grass that are harmless to humans and pets, but give geese a bad stomach ache after grazing. After a few bouts of indigestion a flock will usually clear out with no long-term issues.

All of these work, for sure, but in dealing with the goose invasion maybe it's time to let hunters manage the numbers.

And, a postscript: They are not known as "Canadian geese" in the plural, but instead as "Canada geese." It's counter-intuitive, I know, but these are not passport-carrying Canuck waterfowl.